Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Oh, I'm Not Locked in My Car?


Okay, I thought that lately this blog has been a little tooo serious, and it's getting me down. I want to write something on a lighter, happier note. So here's a story...that apparently is light and funny, since when I told my mother, she could not stop laughing and sputtered, "And you want to be a hot-shot lawyer!?" Thanks, mommy!

Once upon a time, not so long ago, but long enough ago that I will pretend that my anonymity will remain preserved, I got into my car and the alarm went off. My friend who was with me at the time -I'll call her Nava- shrieked "You pressed the panic button, turn it off", to which I shrieked back, "I don't have a panic button!" (We were shrieking not out of fear or anger, but rather because the alarm was sooooooooooo soooooooooo ear-splitting loud.) We tried unlocking the doors, locking the doors, turning on the engine, turning it off, turning on the lights, turning them off, opening the doors, closing them. No one came running to help -no surprise, it was that loud. But finally a mexican/spanish guy came over to help. So what'd he do? He disconnected the battery under the hood. Okay, the alarm went off, but now how do I get home?

Nava called another friend -Lila-, and told her to drive to the parking lot we were in. (the office max/grocery store/seedy Laundromat parking lot) She came by, and then Nava got in her car, so they could get the clicker from my apartment. I figuratively grasped Lila by her lapels and said, "You are not leaving me here alone with a disconnected battery car and a mexican and a Laundromat." So she stayed, and Nava hurried to get the clicker. Meanwhile the guy showed me how to open the hood of the car (no, I didn't know how to open it) and how to reconnect the battery. Then he left. Oh, by the way, he didn't speak fluent English. Just a side note. So when Nava returned triumphantly with the clicker, we positioned ourselves before the engine. Nava held the clicker and Lila's ears shut. Lila clasped her hands over my ears, and on 1,2,3 I reconnected the battery and quickly quickly Nava turned off the alarm using the magic clicker. End of first story.

By the way, this wasn't the story that made my mother laugh. No, no, please be patient.

The next morning, on my way to school, everything was fine. I had the clicker with me, and I was about to give one of my classes a nice little evil test. I spent some time trying to find a parking space, squeezed into a good one, and turned off the engine. Suddenly, it was very quiet. All of the digital displays went out, and I couldn't restart the engine. Hm, I thought, that's weird. The battery probably somehow got disconnected. I unlocked the doors to get out, and nothing happened. Huh?- oh the battery...I pressed unlock on the magic clicker. Didn't work. So the clicker isn't magic after all. I began to panic. I was locked inside my car! All the windows were up, and I couldn't unlock the doors!! I quickly called Nava, but couldn't reach her. I called the school I teach in, and the secretary gave me the number of chaveirim. I called them, and 15 minutes of waiting nervously in a stuff car later, one guy came and walked to my car with all his unlocking equipment. I gave him my unfortunately helpless face, and he was about to stick the wire into the car window when he asked if I tried lifting the lock.

With dawning humiliation, I tried lifting the lock thing out of the door. Click! I was out. He gave me suuuuch a look! And as soon as I got out, the other chaver pulled out. I then quickly distracted them by saying, "Ohhh, the battery's dead!!! I think it got disconnected. Well, after my little, oh, faux pas with the lock, they totally ignored me and started discussing jumper cables. And then chaver #1 opened up the hood of the car and they saw, lo and behold, the battery was disconnected. So they reconnected it and said I should probably see a mechanic to get it tightened so it doesn't happen again. I thanked them so very much and ran, literally ran to school.

I've been told more than once that I'd make a really great blonde. Well, it's true. To make me feel better, please share your ditzy/I forgot my head at home/oops/duh stories in the comments section! Have a great day!

6 comments:

Datingmaster, Jerusalem said...

dont worry I am aguy and I hav eno idea about cars
anyway happy purim

Josh said...

OK - that was a great story! That made for a great midday laugh. My whole life operates in that category, with my brain so far ahead of itself that I have trouble speaking sometimes. As long as you're willing to laugh at yourself, just think of it as cheap entertainment. And great fodder for blogging. I can't wait until you're a lawyer. Then we get a whole new set of jokes.

Anonymous said...

way to funny....
yes I can imagine it happening.. you get nervous. and loose your mind..
don't get scared you still can be a good lawyer, just don't say over this story to your clients...
lol

don't know if you ever saw the BLONDSTAR video that was on google some time ago, making fun of onstar.
a blonde was stuck in a car and called onstar to unlock the car and open the window.... and in ended up he keys were in the igniton...

take care... and keep me laughing.

FrumGirl said...

:-) Thanks!

Hey why put down blondes? We can be smart!

Okee said...

If there's one thing I learned, it's that the smart area of the brain and the ditziness area of the brain are nowhere near each other! And i'm not dissing blondes-i've been blonde, brunette, and everything in between...but my charming ditziness remains, frustratingly, constant.

For instance...

Recently I went to the airport ticket counter complaining that the electronic check in wasn't recognizing my itinerary. After a lot of typing and a few short questions, the woman raised her eyebrow and asked, "are you sure that you're flying american?" i emphatically answered, "yeah"-pause-then, "i thought i was sure...". b'kitzur, my ticket was with united. no harm done, but sometimes i really do make myself nervous! It seems like a small mistake, but when these things happen all the time, i wonder why my intelligence only kicks in when i don't really need it.

A Frum Idealist said...

funny stuff. I definitely enjoyed reading it.
Thanks for the positive comment on my blog