tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21981377.post115620675322998773..comments2023-06-10T06:25:08.143-04:00Comments on An Okee Jew: "So, nu, what are you looking for?"Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21981377.post-1157085804484071462006-09-01T00:43:00.000-04:002006-09-01T00:43:00.000-04:00sw/fm-- thanks for getting it. I hate ranting, it...sw/fm-- thanks for getting it. I hate ranting, it's not me, but we all lose it once in a while. I just hope the next time I do will be in a very long, looooong while. <BR/><BR/>prag--oh, yeah, I definitely do have an idea. And, thinking even deeper into the matter, that is the crux of my problem. Although I pretend I don't, I have a very clear, wonderful, dreamy picture in my head of my future husband. And just like 99.999% of all fantasies, it has no basis in reality and probably won't come to be. I know that. Just like I know that the picture in my head is most likely not what I truly need in a husband, so it's alright. But because of all that, I make believe I have no clue what he'll be like specifically, and I want to leave myself (and my heart and my imagination) open to all potential possibilities. I wouldn't want to say no to a prospective bashert just because I didn't picture myself with that "type" before -that would be, yes, stupid. (Sorry to interrupt myself, but the previous sentence in no way indicates that I believe someone can lose a bashert so innocuously. Such a view doesn't fit into my head. I believe that Hashem will somehow, somehow, manage to work around my hypothetical innocent idiocy. But I'd rather not be idiotic, even in the most innocent, harmless sense.) <BR/>But you weren't asking, anyway, right?<BR/><BR/>scraps-- thanks for the update, I'm so slow!!<BR/><BR/>numbers wouldn't work--all us girls and boys need no more labels to set us all apart when really only one label would do to bring us together: Bnai Yisrael.<BR/>And what about the intangibles? Sorry, it's late...<BR/><BR/>mata hari--good shaila. first, I'd probably make sure the girl is dating. (since I am still single and my bro is a bit young, I'm not in the position to set up anyone of the male persuasion) It's a little scary to be far away from the dating scene and have the question of "what are you looking for?" thrust upon you. Not that I'm speaking from experience... Ok, maybe I am. <BR/> And once I know they are ready to date, I'd ask them about themselves, even if I know them. What are their goals- Not what they think their future husbands' goals may be. What are their dreams, their views on life. Their loves and hates. Those questions not only educate a prospective shadchan to a great degree about the type of guy that might suit the shadchanee exceptionably well, but it also spurs on the girl to look into herself, rather than outside of herself, for her own future. It can never be said too strongly or too often that a person must begin to try to know herself before she begins to try to know another.Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04845583584044563284noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21981377.post-1157050745998082252006-08-31T14:59:00.000-04:002006-08-31T14:59:00.000-04:00well what would you do (or ask) if you were trying...well what would you do (or ask) if you were trying to set someone up?Mata Harihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10251626973831104513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21981377.post-1156982473155557532006-08-30T20:01:00.000-04:002006-08-30T20:01:00.000-04:00sorry...i just started law school, and, uh, you kn...sorry...i just started law school, and, uh, you know how that is! but once i get a groove back in my day, i'll be quicker about commenting and posting...so...<BR/><BR/>frumgirl -you're right, I'm not typical. But I wonder, is anyone? No one walks around with the self-awareness that they are so un-unique, they are merely a drone. So...huh. Anyway, I haven't yet despaired of finding the "one" -but that is mainly because I haven't really started trying. Another point of atypicality.<BR/><BR/>Scraps--I can feel the empathy! I already sent you a return hug, but I'll send you another (I don't want any readers -all six of them- accusing me of being stingy): ((HUGS)) and yep, you're so right about it -how can we encapsulate such a huge concept into an itty-bitty sound bite? Well, we have to do it almost every time we get asked almost anything, like "how was your day" or "what's wrong" or "what do you want to eat"...etc.Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04845583584044563284noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21981377.post-1156899196136812212006-08-29T20:53:00.000-04:002006-08-29T20:53:00.000-04:00ugh...why dont they just make boysd and girls with...ugh...why dont they just make boysd and girls with model numbers...and you can just scan them in..when youre ready to get hitched..?<BR/>what about the intagibles..?David_on_the_Lakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16755322374991538262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21981377.post-1156883698813743252006-08-29T16:34:00.000-04:002006-08-29T16:34:00.000-04:00Okee, you might enjoy my latest update...you can p...Okee, you might enjoy my latest update...you can probably relate.Scrapshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15911315552965685448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21981377.post-1156853567334958092006-08-29T08:12:00.000-04:002006-08-29T08:12:00.000-04:00good for you, while I think that a boy or a girl s...good for you, while I think that a boy or a girl should have an idea, they do not need to have a professional profile.<BR/><BR/>So I'm not asking...Pragmaticianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08724757238921859366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21981377.post-1156428083165111682006-08-24T10:01:00.000-04:002006-08-24T10:01:00.000-04:00I understand it being very frustrating. People do...I understand it being very frustrating. People do not understand that it could end up being hurtful. May you find him bekarov.socialworker/frustrated momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10352262399235382201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21981377.post-1156211463636805982006-08-21T21:51:00.000-04:002006-08-21T21:51:00.000-04:00I know how you feel. I hate that question, too, e...I know how you feel. I hate that question, too, even though I'm older than you. How do I encapsulate--in a few sentences--the description of the person I want to spend the rest of my life with? And the questions, the criticisms...all so common, and all so painful.<BR/><BR/>(((HUGS)))Scrapshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15911315552965685448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21981377.post-1156207537973371682006-08-21T20:45:00.000-04:002006-08-21T20:45:00.000-04:00That question is the cookie cutter method of quest...That question is the cookie cutter method of questioning to the cookie cutter method of dating. We are all individuals. And its mostly judgemental -that is if we allow it to be. <BR/><BR/>Okee, you are not the typical girl and I think thats great! Dont let it bother you, though. Anything is possible!FrumGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06938604279533529932noreply@blogger.com